Tuesday, October 3, 2017

What it takes to write great femdom fiction

So I just posted a simple little CFNM/gynocracy story on this site called "Adjusting", and I thought aspiring writers might want to get a peek behind the curtain of what it takes to write something like that.

"Adjusting" clocks in at just under 6,000 words, making it a short story for me but a Lord-of-the-Rings length epic novel for most online e-book resellers.

So how long do you think I spent writing it? 


I hope it seemed simple and effortless, because that's what I was going for, but in reality, I've been working on different drafts of "Adjusting" for 3 months now:



That's TWELVE drafts from 6/25 to 9/26, or exactly 3 months.  Now, I wasn't working full time on the story, every day.  I definitely took big breaks.  But each of those drafts were full of big changes.

I had drafts where Brad didn't get stroked at all until the last third.   I had drafts where Elle made him cum, drafts where he made himself cum.  That tickling section I took out and put back in like three times.  (And I'm still not sure it doesn't bog down the flow of a simple story.)

But most of all, I wanted things to just FLOW.  Most of what I was polishing between each draft came down to making sure each sentence led effortlessly into the next for the reader.  So things just moved.

Compare "Adjusting" to a normal Literotica story that starts off with 5 paragraphs of "Peternia was an island that was made women-run in the Great Revolution of 2021 and here laid out are its entire social structure and political aims..."

Or a story that has recurring paragraphs of "Brad knew Elle didn't want him to cover his junk but he also knew he really loved showing his penis off to Brittany but he also knew that he was smaller than average but he also also knew that really turned him on..."

So I tried to get rid of flow-breaking exposition and do everything in the moment.  To make it feel like a visceral roller coaster, with tight turns and sudden drops.  That's what I think makes a great short story.  You guys will have to tell me if it worked.

 Where did the story idea come from?


A lot of erotic readers comment "You should do a story about a gynocracy!" or "A world where men are kept naked and horny ALL the time!"  And I totally, 100% appreciate the effort and intent of reader comments- they're half of what keep me writing!  But those aren't enough to start a story.

There's no tension, no frisson in that type of comment or story seed.  So why did I write "Adjusting"?  Simple:  It was Brittany's line:  "So?  How are you guys adjusting?  With all the changes?"

Imagining two smug women having a drink and casually laughing about one of them moving to an island where the other's mate suddenly can't wear any clothes was SUCH an image- I could just HEAR the giggle in Brittany's voice when she asked that- I had to write this story.

That was the seed, the genesis of the whole story, and everything, down to the tone of the piece and even the ending, followed from that.   After 3 months of work.


Does it follow my rules for femdom writing?


I made my 8 rules of Femdom Writing for a reason- mainly to give me a way to describe good femdom writing to others, but also to remind myself.

In "Adjusting", there are four main escalations to the action:

  1. Brad comes out naked and is exposed to Brittany for the first time
  2. Brad gets stroked by Elle
  3. Brad gets stroked by Brittany
  4. Brad is made to cum loudly and explosively
So with those four pillars in place, all I had to do was string "supporting text" between them and I had a story.  If you really want to become a better femdom writer, see if you can go back to the story and spot the difference between a pillar and a supporting cable in the text.  (Hint: the cables are all typically Brad's reactions to things or fallout from what just happened.)

This follows my Rule of Escalation.

Look at the end- Brittany HAS to end with the Promise of More.  If she had just said "Cool, we'll never do that again." that would have been such a let-down.  This is why the last rule exists. 

We don't feel things unless Brad feels them, Dialogue being Hard but Hot, etc etc, I think I did a pretty good job at following the rules this time.

Is this helping any?  I hope it's helping.  Anyway, I don't talk about this stuff to toot my own horn (toot-toot) but truly, to improve the level of femdom/erotic writing I come across out there.

Because if 10, 100, 1000 of you all start writing hot femdom/CFNM/SPH/denial/humiliation stories I can get lost in, I can finally retire!

Stay frosty my friends,
P.F. Dee

Adjusting (CFNM, FF/M)

(So a long time ago, some unknown author wrote a great story about a first-world island which was completely and totally women-dominated.  The idea stuck with me, so here's a short story in that universe...)



Adjusting




So how are you two adjusting?” Brittany giggled, crossing her bare legs on Elle’s couch. “With all the changes?” The slim brunette was dressed for a night out on the town: shimmery spaghetti-strap top and short shorts that showed off nearly all of her smooth, tanned legs.
Well it wasn’t such a big change for me,” Elle laughed, sipping her iced drink. The taller athletic blonde was dressed for a Friday night at home: casual t-shirt, jeans, bare feet. “New job, same field. For Brad, however, moving to a country that doesn’t let men wear any clothes at all...”
Is a little humiliating?” Brittany laughed. “Some boys love it, you know. Finally being able to show off their bits to every cute girl they meet!”
Elle snorted. “No, Brad’s definitely gone the other way. He hasn’t left the apartment since we got to the island!”
The twenty-seven-year-old brunette looked quizzically around the small flat. “Really? I thought he’d gone for a run or something...”
Hell no! He’s been hiding in the bedroom ever since I told him you were coming over!”
You mean he’s right over-” Brittany spun and leaned over her side of the couch, to yell at the closed bedroom door just a few feet away. “Come on out BRAD!” she giggled. “I PROMISE I won’t laugh!”
There was a pause, then a muffled reply from the other side.
I’m good! Thanks!”
Now his girlfriend laughed too. “Brad! Seriously, come out here! You’re just being silly!”
Just... give me some more time!”
“If you don’t open that door right now, I’m inviting Brit to stay over all weekend,” Elle said. “Then she’ll get to see you do so many more humiliating things up close and perso-”
The door jerked open just a crack, a blushing young man barely peeking his head out the gap. “Elle, please! This is humiliating enough already! To be stripped and shaved at the airport, totally naked for cab ride here-”
“The shaving’s my favorite part,” Brittany giggled to her friend. “You can take away all of a man’s clothes, but taking away all of his body hair is what really makes him feel like a kid again.”
“It was barbaric! A violation of my rights!”
“You knew what you were getting into,” his girlfriend chuckled, “agreeing to move with me to a totally female-run island for a year.”
I bet he didn’t,” Brittany giggled, slowly twirling her crossed foot in the air. “It’s a little different than the pamphlets, isn’t it Brad? To be kept totally naked 24/7, like a helpless little boy at the beach?”
The naked man blushed harder, making eye contact with the clothed woman for the first time. Her sparkly top was really just a sparkly front- he could see her bare back and the sides of her small, pert breasts as she leaned away from the couch. And her legs looked so tanned and toned, all the way down to her slim, nude feet and painted toes-
Look, Brittany,” he swallowed, still hiding behind the door, “it’s nothing personal, but-”
The brunette leaned over and stage whispered to her friend. “Is his penis really that small? You always told me he had a smaller than average cock, but is it really so tiny that he's ashamed to be seen by other adult women-"
It's not that!” Brad blurted out, making both women laugh.
Get out here then,” Elle said, sipping her drink. “We’re in our own apartment, for goodness sake! And it’s just Brittany.”
Yeah Brad,” the smaller woman giggled, slowly twirling her bare foot with its hot pink painted toenails again. “It’s just me.”
Brad gulped, looking at his girlfriend again. “Elle, please!”
You know you’re basically my property here, right?” the blonde laughed. “I could tie you up with a leash and collar in the backyard for the entire apartment complex to see, and the police wouldn’t stop me- they’d help me!
Oh jeez, come on-”
I could sign you up to model in a high school sketch class all semester and make you swallow you two Viagra before you left every morning,” she laughed, watching his face. “So you’d be trapped naked and helpless in a tiny room full of mean, giggling, under-aged girls with your silly boner rock hard and untouchable all day-”
Elle, shit!”
You could deny his orgasms,” Brittany giggled. “You know that, right? He’s not even allowed to pop off here unless you say so! It’s not enforced much unless the woman insists, but if you ever wanted to stop Brad from playing with himself-”
They can't do that!” he gasped.
They can!” Brittany laughed back. “The police have these little curved cages they lock around naughty boys’ dicks, to keep them from getting hard. The comfy ones are made of plastic or maybe a stiff rubber.” She smiled at him again. “But I’m partial to the too-tight metal ones...”
That’s perfect!" Elle laughed, slapping her knee. "Okay Brad, unless you get out here on the couch and say hello to our old friend Brittany in three seconds, you’re getting some shiny new metal jewelry for your cock! And then no masturbating for a solid month!"
"Elle!"
"Three! Two-”
Both women laughed as a very naked, very red-faced man bolted out of the bedroom to dive onto the couch next to his girlfriend, as far away as possible from the laughing brunette.
Wow! That was fast!” Brittany giggled. “You must play yourself a LOT, huh Brad?”
NO!”
Oh?” Elle said. “Then maybe I should make that rule anyway? Okay, no masturbation for you for one month then-”
Elle!”
Both girls laughed as the boy blushed even harder, barely keeping his naked crotch covered with both hands.
His girlfriend smirked. “Tell Brittany you’re sorry for making her wait.”
I’m... sorry for making you wait!”
The brunette laughed, a hand over her mouth. “Don’t worry about it, sexy. Good to see you again!” She leisurely looked over the blushing, naked man covering himself just feet from her. “You look good- have you been working out?”
Brad’s throat was as dry as the Sahara, but Elle elbowed him meaningfully in the ribs and he somehow croaked: “I guess!”
Elle was still shaking her head at her embarrassed, nude boyfriend. “This could take some getting used to.”
It always does,” Brittany giggled. “He’s uh, still covering himself, by the way.”
So he is!” Elle laughed, looking down at the blushing man’s crotch. “Brad, if you don’t relax and uncover yourself in front of Brittany like a real Peternian man, I can easily make it two months without masturbation for you.”
Elle, please!”
Just try me, Brad!”
Brad looked in his girlfriend’s firm, unwavering eyes, then swallowed hard and slowly moved his hands away from his hairless crotch.
To let his three-quarters stiff dick spring out.
Oh wow!” Brittany howled. “Good to see you too, Brad!”
Elle was rubbing her forehead. “Oh Jesus, Brad- really?”
The blushing boy couldn’t cover his dick, and now couldn’t hide his quickly growing arousal either. “No! It’s just... I can’t help it!”
Yeah, a lot of new movers seem to have that problem,” Brittany giggled, stretching her tanned, bare legs out on the ottoman. “Especially around me.”
Well Brad better get his ‘little problem’ under control,” Elle said, raising an eyebrow at him. “And fast.”
Elle, I’m trying!” the boy gasped, even as his stiff erection continued getting stiffer right in front of the women.
Brittany giggled again, then turned to face her friend. “So! How’s the new job going?”
Well, it’s pretty incredible,” Elle said, still chuckling at Brad’s exposed and hardening erection. “To be able to head up a major university’s quantum computing department? I’d be waiting twenty years for that chance like that back home. And I get to work with ALL the top women in my field!”
And the pay is good?”
Only like three times what I’d make in industry. Brit, I don’t know they afford it!”
Brad couldn’t believe the girls could just casually talk like this, while he was totally naked and hard right next to them! And to make it worse, Brittany’s legs were right in the center of his view, visible no matter where in the room he tried to look. Her lean thighs, her tight calves, her slim feet with their perfectly painted toenails...
Brad grunted as his cock got even harder.
That better have been for me,Elle coughed, raising an eyebrow at him again.
It is!” he gasped, tearing his eyes away from Brittany’s feet. “I mean- Elle, I can’t help it!”
That’s what all little boys say,” Brittany giggled. “Oh, Elle, here’s a Peternian Life Tip: don’t walk by a middle school in any kind of short skirt or high heels, unless you want to get every boy out at recess spanked for unauthorized erections at school!”
Brad’s girlfriend frowned at him. “Well I’d expect my man to have a little more control around women than some twelve year-old with his first hard-on!”
Brad’s face was fully red. “Elle, I’m sorry! I can’t really control it!”
Elle sighed, then nodded. “It's okay honey. I guess I'll just have to control it for you then.”
And just as casually as she would grab a soda out of the fridge, she reached down and grabbed his straining erection.
ELLE!”
He tried to jump away, but she yanked him back down.
You pull away and it’s two months in chastity!” she barked as Brittany died of laughter across the couch, watching the struggling Brad being held in place by his dick. “You get off this couch and I'm locking you in one of those tight steel cages for two months! And giving Brittany the key on the weekends when I’m not around, to do whatever the hell she wants with you!”
The brunette pumped her fist. “Sweet! I've always wanted a naked chaste butler cleaning my apartment!”
The shaking man forced himself to sit back down on the couch next to his fully clothed girlfriend, who still held him firmly by his hard cock.
Elle, please!” he gasped, shivering as her hand gripped his naked erection. “This is humiliating!”
As humiliating as you not being able to control your dick around my best friend from college?”
I can control it! Just let me go into the bedroom and-” She silenced him with a hard squeeze to his shaft. “Ooof!
Can you believe,” Elle said, turning again to her still-giggling friend, “that I saw a woman jerking her husband off on the subway, on my first day here? She was just sitting there, checking her phone and holding his hard-on like this, like it was nothing! And when she started stroking him off, none of the other female riders on the train even said anything!”
Yeah, that’s a pretty common sight in Peternia,” Brittany giggled, watching Brad's panic grow. “Did she make him cum, or just keep him hard the entire ride?”
Cum! Right into a handkerchief!”
Sometimes the woman needs to ‘empty’ her man before they go to a fancy restaurant, or their daughter’s ballet recital, somewhere that erections would be really inappropriate,” Brittany giggled, then met Brad’s eyes. “But most mothers just throw their sons over their lap and spank their inappropriate little boners away. That’s what I’d do.”
Oh god!” Brad gasped, making both women giggle.
So you wouldn’t mind if I helped Brad out a little?” Elle laughed, feeling her boyfriend’s cock pulsing in her hand. “Right now?”
Fine with me,” Brittany laughed, then winked at the horribly blushing naked man. “It probably won't even take a minute.”
Brad almost jumped out of his skin as he felt his girlfriend’s hand start moving up and down his shaft in a very practiced motion. “Elle! You can’t be serious!
Now Brad, I don’t want you embarrassing us with these lewd boner around Brittany all the time,” Elle chuckled, speeding up her strokes. “I’ll just empty you real quick and then we’ll order some takeout, okay?”
He was trying to climb away as best he could without breaking her ‘stay on couch’ rule. “NO! Not in front of HER!
Brad, you’re either cumming right now, in front of Brit, or I mean it- I won’t let you masturbate, or cum, or even touch me for the next two months straight!” she laughed, stroking even faster. “Hell, let’s make it three!
I change my vote, I change my vote!” Brittany squealed, waving her hands in the air. “Let’s do the three months of denial! If I had a cutie boyfriend like Brad I’d want him desperate, aching and blue-balled for me all the time too!”
Hmmm, now I hadn’t thought of that,” Elle laughed, breaking rhythm just before Brad would have spurted all over his chest. She gave him three fast strokes then two slow ones, keeping him off balance. “Having him hard and pining away for me all day while I’m at work? Eager as a little puppy when I got home, his boner always stiff and ready for petting...” She grinned at her red-faced boyfriend. “Sounds like a pretty good life, eh Brad?”
He was seconds away from cumming! “NO!”
She laughed, then stopped her strokes just a few seconds before the red faced man would have spurted. “Sit tight, Brad, I’ve got to think about this one.”
He gasped in relief, until her hand started stroking again a second later, just much more loosely. “But I promise you’ll know about my decision right when Brittany does.”
Elle!”
She was still stroking, and he was already so close!
Ignoring the panicked man, Elle relaxed into the couch, stretching her long, jean-clad legs onto the ottoman just as Brittany had. “So how’s the Italian food here? Any better than back home?”
Oh, loads better!” Brittany giggled, also pretending to ignore the naked, squirming Brad. “There’s this great little bistro on 45th I’ve got to take you to sometime.”
Want to go Tuesday night? I get off work early.”
Oh, I can’t, I’ve got Pilates Tuesday.”
Brad gasped. This was crazy! He was getting slowly stroked towards the biggest orgasm of his life in front of two giggling women, and neither of them were even looking at him!
Elle...” But a quick hard squeeze to his cock made him shut his mouth again. “Ahh!”
Well, how about next Friday night?” Brittany giggled, still only looking at the blonde. “Then we can really have some fun.”
Elle lengthened her strokes. “Oh? How’s that?”
We could both dress up in sexy clubbing clothes and go to this great new dance place on 47th after. They throw foam parties every Friday night- Elle, they’re hot hot HOT!”
Why?”
Well it’s warm, clean foam and it just slides all down your body like a big, wet tongue,” Brittany shivered, actually ignoring the squirming Brad now. “And all the girls dancing inside- I told you it was only girls, right? The boys have to be tied up outside- anyway, all the girls dancing inside are pressed SO close, we’re just like, grinding against one another. It’s run by women of course and the drinks are half off if you’re hot, so last time me and my girlfriends got so wasted we started just throwing off our clothes when the DJ really got going and then we were all totally naked and covered in foam and just grinding our wet, drunk bodies against one another to the beat and letting our hands go anywhere they wanted-”
Oh FUCK!” Brad cried, but Elle had already let go of his shaking dick.
Don’t you dare cum, Brad! You cum and I’m locking your cock up for three months!
Brad roared, his butt arching off the couch while his white-knuckled fingers dug into the leather cushions. “ARRGHHHH! ELLE!”
Three months!” she yelled. “I MEAN it!”
He clenched his PC muscles as hard as he possibly could, his neck straining, his cock shaking, untouched, about to explode-
-before he fell heavily back against the sofa, panting. But with all his cum still inside him.
You are so lucky, Mister!” Elle said, frowning as she wiped her hand off on her jeans. “If you had cum without my permission, while imagining Brittany and all her girlfriends naked and dancing- you’d better believe I’d lock up your cock for half a year!”
Brad could barely talk- his pulse was pounding in his ears, his cock as painfully hard as it could get, his balls about to burst! “Elle- I’m sorry! I... couldn’t... help it!”
I guess it’s sort of my fault,” Brittany giggled. “Sometimes I forget that little boys can’t handle adult stories.” She winked at him. “Sorry Bradley.”
Brad, why don't you go cool down a little?” Elle said, still frowning. She pointed across the apartment. “Go get me a refill from the kitchen. Sangria and ice. Hurry!” She snapped her fingers, making the blushing man jump. “You want anything, Brit?”
Sangria and ice sounds great,” Brittany giggled, watching Brad race into the kitchen, his thick, painfully hard hard-on leading the way.
And no touching yourself while you do it!” Elle called after him, then shook her head. “I'm sorry about that, Brit...”
Don't be! It was sorta hot, seeing him all helpless and turned on like that...” she giggled, leaning around the couch to catch a peek of Brad’s ass as he prepared their drinks, his front pressed tightly against the kitchen counter. “I mean, he was so reserved back in college- we could never even get him to talk about sex, remember?”
Yeah,” Elle laughed. “Even after three years of dating, he wouldn’t even sleep in the nude next to me most nights. But now he has no choice!”
That’s why I love new movers! After a while, most Peternian men get so used to nudity, they barely get embarrassed by their cocks anymore,” Brittany sighed. “So enjoy these first few months while you can!”
Somehow, I don’t think Brad will ever get ‘used to’ getting uncontrolled hard-ons around you.”
I sure hope not!”
The blonde laughed too, slowly shaking her head. “So, do you have a boyfriend out here yet, Brit? I didn’t think you’d be the type of girl to get tied down.”
Oh trust me- if I take a boy home, he’s definitely the one getting tied down!” the smaller girl said, and both women laughed again. Brittany shook her head. “I’ve got a few booty calls I hit from time to time, but nothing too serious. And if I’m really having a dry patch, one of the married girls from the office lets me borrow their husband for a night. A few hours of sitting on his face and suddenly I feel a lot better!”
Elle almost coughed out the last of her drink. “Really?”
Brittany tilted her head. “You know that most women on the island share lovers, right? And what woman cares if her man gets a few hours of extra practice pleasing women with his tongue?”
Wow. That’s, uh, really trusting.”
Not really,” the brunette giggled. “Since all the girls in my office know that I’d never, ever let one of their hubbies pop off when they’re with me!”
Never?”
Of course not,” the brunette laughed. “The closest I’ll let them get is humping my carpet while they suck my toes and I vibrate myself silly in front of them. And then it’s back into their metal cock cage for a long blue ride home!”
Elle laughed out loud. “Really!”
Brittany held up two fingers. “Scout’s honor!”
Elle laughed again, then more quietly to herself, so that Brad couldn’t hear. “Really...”
And after thinking to herself for another quiet moment, Elle extended her legs to take up the spot on her side of the couch where Brad had been sitting.
So that when he turned the corner out of the kitchen, two large drinks in his hands, he froze between them, looking over the vastly reduced seating choices.
Um...”
Elle stretched out her hand to grab her refill. “I’ll take that honey, thanks.”
He swallowed, still standing in front of the L-shaped couch, nude with a drink in his hand. “Um, can you move over a little?”
Don’t be rude Brad. Why don’t you go sit next to Brittany for a bit?”
But-”
Sit next to Brittany for a while,” Elle laughed, watching her boyfriend’s reaction. His cock which had gone half soft while he prepared the drinks, was twitching harder again. “In fact, I order you to.”
Come on cutie,” Brittany laughed, scooting over and patting the cushions next to her. “I don’t bite!”
He blushed, still frozen between the two smirking girls, nude and getting harder. “Elle!”
Brad, I order you to sit next to Brittany,” Elle said. “Or I’m buying a chastity belt and locking away your orgasms. Tonight.
The blood was draining from his face. “But... why?!”
Elle just sipped her drink and laughed. “Because I say so.”
Oh god, oh god-
Brittany laughed as a nervous Brad started approaching her end of the couch, his chest expanding and contracting a little faster as he blushed and sat down, their legs touching.
Oh relax, it’ll be just like Freshman year Chem all over again,” Brittany laughed, taking her drink before he spilled it. “Except this time I’ll going to borrow a little more than your pen.”
And just like Elle had, she casually reached down to grab Brad’s hardening cock.
HEY!”
Don’t you dare get off that couch Brad!” his girlfriend laughed. “Or it’s three months in chastity! Guaranteed!”
Oh GOD!” he gasped as the smaller girl held him there by his quickly hardening dick just like Elle had.
He hadn’t felt another hand on his cock besides Elle’s in almost three years! And Brittany’s touch was so different that his girlfriend’s, lighter and more playful as she squeezed and explored his hardness, feeling every ridge and curve as he stiffened in her fingers-
OH GOD!”
Brittany giggled to her friend, still squeezing Brad's cock harder.  “You sure you don’t mind, Elle?  You two are still so new here...”
For her part, Elle’s heart was beating faster too. “No. We’ve got to adapt to local customs, Brit. As long as you keep to your rule.”
The brunette tilted her head. “My rule? Oh yeah,” she giggled, then winked at the other woman. “Scout’s honor.”
She turned to the gasping man next to her. “So Brad, happy you moved to Peternia yet?” She laughed and gave him three fast strokes.
OH FUCK!”
He's responsive, I like that,” Brittany laughed as Brad squirmed next to her. “Like driving a cute little sports car!”
Jeez!”
She giggled and slowed her strokes, turning to the other woman. “So have you guys made plans for the Fourth yet? With all the Americans around, it’s as big a deal here as it is back in the States.”
“Really?” Elle giggled. “With fireworks and everything?”
“Oh, there’ll be plenty of fireworks,” Brittany laughed as Brad bucked in her stroking hand.
Oh Jesus!
“Hush Brad,” Elle chided. “You were saying, Brit?”
Well, have you ever seen three rows of seven guys all fire off their loads into the air, at the exact same time? They call it a ‘21-cum salute’!” the girl giggled. “The local high school cheerleaders help out with the stroking- they’re trained to work as a team, you know. And they look so cute in their little matching bras and panties, it’s almost a Peternian tradition now!” She leaned back, relaxing while still moving her wrist. “And most of the boys are locals too: they’re volunteered by their mothers or sisters, and their cocks have been locked up for a solid month or two beforehand so they’re really nice and pent up when the cheerleaders start oiling up-”
“OH FUCK OH GOD-”
But just like Elle had, Brittany had disappeared from Brad’s cock right just as he screamed.
“Nope!” she laughed, even grabbing his wrists so he couldn’t finish the job himself. “Oh no you don't!”
“ARRRGGGH!” He was fighting her grip, trying to get his hands free.
“Brad!” Elle barked. “Don’t you dare touch yourself or it’s six months in chastity! A YEAR! TWO! Hands on your head, NOW!”
And somehow the desperate man did, grabbing his hair even as his hips bucked into the air, seeking that one, last stroke that would send him over the edge-
“FUUUUUCKKK!”
Both women broke into laughter as the frustrated man collapsed back on to the couch, stamping his feet in frustration. “DAMN IT! FUCK!”
“Oh god, Brit,” Elle laughed, covering her mouth. “That was even closer than mine!”
The brunette laughed. “What can I say?” She kicked her tanned legs up on the ottoman, almost making Brad cum from just the sight. “Two years on this island, and I'm like the freakin’ Cock Whisperer!”
Brad was panting, totally desperate now, hands still on his head. “ELLE! This isn’t FAIR!”
It’s totally fair,” she laughed. “First you try to cum, picturing our guest naked? And now you want to blow your load thinking about under-aged schoolgirls in their panties? You perv!”
He was beet red. “It’s not... like that!”
Aw, it’s okay if you want to jack off into high school cheerleaders’ panties,” Brittany giggled, sliding a hand over his heaving pecs. “Most little boys on the island do.” She twisted his erect nipple, making him the gasping boy yelp.
I don’t want to... jack off into used cheerleaders’ panties!”
Don’t lie to me Bradley. Especially if you’re still as ticklish as you used to be in college...”
His eyes got huge. “NO-”
But the girl had already pounced on him, nails first.
FUCK! STOP IT!”
Brad- don’t resist her!” Elle ordered, but it was pointless- the tiny brunette was already dominating the larger, thrashing man.
Her sharp fingernails found his ribs, his stomach, his armpits, making him gasp and spasm even as he tried to push her away.
Brittany! STOP!”
She pushed the gasping boy over and straddled him on the couch, tickling his stomach, his armpits, inside his thighs, wherever he wasn’t defending at the moment.
Admit you want to jack off into high school girls’ panties!” she laughed as the boy howled below her, gasping and thrashing. “Big piles of soft, warm, used cotton panties! You’d love to sniff them all wouldn’t you Brad?”
NO!”
Admit it!” Brittany laughed, as she now attacked where ever she wanted, as Brad started having trouble breathing. “Admit it or I’ll keep going until you pass out!”
He was in spasms, totally unable to defend himself from the much smaller woman. “Elle! HELP ME!”
Oh Brad,” his girlfriend chuckled, covering her mouth. “How are you ever going to survive on this island?”
ADMIT IT!”
YES!” he finally screamed as Brittany started on the soles of his feet, her weight holding his legs down “I want to!”
Want to what?
I want to jack off into cheerleaders’ panties!”
She tickled the naked, helpless boy for a few more seconds before finally getting off him, breathing a little hard herself.
Oh god, I haven’t had that much fun since my babysitting days!” Brittany laughed, adjusting her hair before sitting down again. “Now I’ll definitely be coming over to see you guys a lot more!”
But Brad was a hundred times worse, a cherry-faced, sweating, humiliated, hyper-ventilating mess on the couch.
And he was still rock hard.
Sure, whenever you want,” Elle laughed, looking at her man’s cock. “Brad seems to enjoy it. And Brad, when she’s visiting, if Brittany ever wants to tickle you, you have to let her.”
The man was almost on the verge of crying, his cock still rock hard. “No!”
Elle was just shaking her head. “You know Brad, if you had just let me empty you real quick in front of Brittany when I first wanted you to, you definitely would have a lot been better off than you are now! Now that I've seen how hot you look, squirmy and desperate and getting dominated by a girl half your size- oh god, Brad, I don't know if you're going to cumming very often this year!”
I agree,” Brittany giggled, sliding a hand between the panting boy’s legs. “He’s much more fun like this.”
And the shaking man did burst into tears when Brittany’s soft hand found his cock and started stroking again. “ELLE!”
Elle laughed and finally took her legs off the couch. “Oh, it’s okay honey, I’ll protect you from mean old Brittany- why don't you come back over and sit next to me?”
The totally humiliated man did, running back to his girlfriend’s side of the couch, blushing even more as Brittany pinched his ass as passed. “Go on, you big baby!”
He was dizzy as he sat down next to his girlfriend again, breathing hard. “Elle, please, let's just-”
“Hush honey, women are talking.  Don't interrupt.” And Elle smiled as her hand slid down to start stroking her boyfriend’s rock-hard cock again and Brad didn’t make a peep of protest over it.
Brad bit his tongue as Elle idly stroked his cock for the next fifteen minutes as she and Brittany discussed local shopping spots, island politics, even the finale of a TV show they had both been following, both women totally ignoring the blushing, gasping man except for giggling when he grunted and bucked, when Elle inevitably stopped her stimulation seconds before he would have orgasmed each time.
Their giggles turned into outright laughs as Elle edged him five, ten, fifteen more times and Brad’s gasps became outright curses after each barely-denied orgasm.
“FUCK!”
“Getting closer babe?” Elle laughed, giving him long, deep strokes again. “Have your views about having orgasms in front of our friend Brittany changed from the beginning of the night?”
The gasping, red-faced man looked over at the slim, composed brunette who was watching him slowly approach the edge one more time and blushed harder than he ever thought possible.
“NO!”
“He’ll eventually change his mind,” Brittany giggled. “A lot of new movers start off really shy about their orgasms.  But there are some mothers who never let their sons beat off unless it’s at a crowded dinner party. There are hundreds of boys on this island who have never had a private orgasm at all!”
“Oh JESUS!” Brad gasped, his balls painfully tight.
He was holding on by the barest of margins!
Elle laughed. “Is that what you want Brad? To have only public orgasms on the island this year? Do you want to be Peternia’s newest little public exhibitionist porn star?”
Brad was so close, he wasn’t sure he was hearing straight!
“WHAT?! Elle! NO!”
“Okay, I’ll guess we’ll just start with Brittany, then.” She removed her hand from his cock and replaced it with the man’s own. “New rule Brad: this year, you’re ONLY allowed to cum by your own hand, ONLY once a week, and ONLY if Brittany’s here to watch.”
“Yeaaa!” the brunette laughed. “My own special Friday night show!”
“Elle! NO!”
Elle laughed, using her own hand to drive Brad’s up and down on his dripping, desperate cock. “You really don’t want to stroke for Brittany? After all that, you really want to wait a whole week to have the chance to cum again?”
Both women waiting, giggling expectantly at the naked, gasping, red-faced man.
And when the humiliated man holding his own cock couldn’t say anything, Brittany laughed and yawned, making a big show of stretching her arms. “Well, I should really get going...”
Elle even moved her hand faster, making his stroke his own length harder. “Don’t you have something to ask Brittany?” 
Brad swallowed, but he still couldn’t speak!
The brunette giggled and stood up, heading towards the door. “Oh well, I always did like denied Bradley better! See you guys next week!”
“No!” he gasped. “Um...”
“Better hurry!” Elle laughed, pushing his hand faster, using two hands to force him to stroke. “It will be your last chance to ask for seven days!”
Brad’s toes were gripping the deep carpet. “OH fuck, Elle, please!”
I’m deadly serious Brad!”
Well, nice seeing you guys again,” Brittany laughed, grabbing her jacket. “Too bad you weren’t more fun.  Maybe I won’t be coming over next Friday.   Or the next...”
“I... NO!”
She giggled, waiting at the door. “Yes Brad?”
Heart pounding, gasping for breath, he closed his eyes and blurted out the words.
Can I cum please?!”
She paused, letting Elle get him a few strokes closer. “I’d like it if you called me Miss Brittany when you asked me about your cummies, Bradley.”
“Miss Brittany!” he gasped, his face totally red. “MAY I PLEASE ORGASM NOW?!!”
She waited again, scrunching her pink-painted toenails into the thick carpet, giggling at the tall, handsome boy she had once had such a crush on in college.
“Sure. Go ahead.”
Elle changed the angle and speed of her strokes by some imperceptible amount and Brad erupted.
“AHHH! AAHHHHHHHHH!”
She jumped away as cum shot all over his chest and the girls just laughed as Brad was forced to keep stroking to complete his humiliating, toe-curling public orgasm on his own.
“FUUUUUCK! ARRGGHHHHHHHH!”
“Wow, he’s a real screamer, huh?!” Brittany laughed.
“Yeah, I guess Peternia really brought out the porn star in him!” Elle howled, watching the cum-shots go up her boyfriend’s neck, almost reaching his face.  "That was almost a facial!"
Hearing the two girls laugh only made his orgasm harder and Brad thrusted his hips and flailed his legs as the sensations overtook him. And when he was finally done, Brad was a humiliated, semen-covered mess on the couch, trembling in the afterglow and humiliation.
He had never cum that hard in his entire life, ever!
“Oh. My. God!” Brittany laughed, covering her mouth. “Can I bring some girls from work with me next week? If he’s like that every time he’s going to be real popular around here!”
“No.... Elle! Please!”
He couldn’t!
And in front of even more women?!!?
“Sounds fine to me,” Elle giggled, ignoring her man. “The more the merrier! I’ll get one of those little pink rubber chastity cages for him tonight, make sure he’s got a big, loud load for you guys next Friday.”
Elle!”
“Brad, for the next year, you can’t cum unless Brittany gives you permission,” his girlfriend laughed, wiping her hands on her jeans. “Beg her, not me!”
“And if I go to the trouble of bringing my girls all the way over here,” the brunette giggled, slipping on her high heels, “I expect a good show! You better be as loud or louder as you were just now, or I won’t give you permission to cum for a month! I want you yelling and thrashing like that for me every time!”
Brad about died!
“I... I don’t know if I can do that!”
Brittany laughed, picking up her little clutch as she stepped out the door.
“Don't worry, cutie,” she giggled, giving the nude, humiliated, cum-covered boy one last wink. “I’m sure you'll get used to it.”

***

Friday, June 16, 2017

This blog is taking a break!


So I've been a little burnt out on writing recently, and as you get older the summers tend to get shorter, so I'm going to take a break from posting, at least for a few months. 

Maybe in late fall I'll be inspired to finish "The Accidental Porn Star" or "Sex Powers University: Year Three" and then move on to some brother/sister Steel World stories or something new entirely. 

But until then, everyone enjoy some sun, keep dreaming of teasing girls, and if you ever want a critique on your femdom writing, I always want to hear your comments at pfdee@comcast.net.

Enjoy the summer!

PF Dee


Thursday, April 20, 2017

Shower Buddies (Or, "The Only Boy At The All Girls' School")

Again, you guys will have to tell me if this is anything.

(And people reading on Goodreads, for god's sake, click through to my actual blog, the formatting is horrible if you don't.)




Neil Hammond wailed when he entered the showers to see nude, soapy Carmen Garcia waiting for him there.
“No!” He pulled his towel even tighter around his waist, his pale face starting to blush already. “Not you! NOT YOU!”
“Yep, I'm your shower buddy today!” the naked Latina laughed, sitting on the wooden bench wearing nothing but nail polish. She brushed her long wet hair out of her face and crooked a finger at the trembling, red-faced boy. “Now get in here sexy, before we run out of hot water!”
But Neil still hadn't taken a single step towards the naked, smiling girl beckoning him into the showers.
“No! I want someone else! Heather! Or maybe Sydney!”
“Heather already showered and Syd's out playing field hockey,” the girl giggled, her hand still holding a sponge between her legs, her only nod to modesty. “And besides... you know it's more fun when I'm your shower buddy, don't you?”
“No!” the boy cried, still not moving. Underneath his towel wrap, Neil was fully naked, except for a slow, growing tightness around his cock and balls. “Carmen! Please!” he gasped. “Not today!”
The girl smiled at him, totally unconcerned that he could see all of her small, bare breasts, her shaved legs, every bit of her skin except for a few inches.
“Are you saying you don't want to follow the house rules Neil? Because I wonder how many days Mrs. Steiner would add if I told her you weren't following the house rules...”
That finally made him move.
“NO!” he gasped, taking a step forward. “Don't!”
She laughed, crooking one finger at him again. “Then get in here.”
With slow, dreadful footsteps, the teenaged boy stepped forward to hang his toiletries on the hook by the shower. And step out of his bath slippers. And then, after a long swallow, pull off his towel.
To reveal a very small, very shiny, inescapable metal chastity cage.
His giggling classmate got to her feet and eagerly welcomed him underneath the hot spray.
“I bet when you signed up to be the first boy who ever applied to a historic, all-girls private Catholic school,” she said, pulling him in right next to her, “no one ever told you you'd personally get to shower with the richest and hottest girls in all of New England, did they?”
“No,” the boy gulped, his stomach fluttering as Carmen wet the sponge in her hand and applied a huge amount of feminine-smelling body wash to it.
“Or that you'd have to wear that cute little thing,” she giggled, looking down at his neutered cock. “24/7... for the entire semester?”
“NO!” the boy wailed, his shaking hands making grasping, impotent fists at his hips.
She was so close, her nude toes were pressed on top of his!
He looked up at the ceiling, closing his eyes tight. But even that barely helped reduce the tension in his cage!
He gasped as he felt her start running the soft, soapy sponge over his bare chest.
“You know, my parents were SO worried,” she giggled, scrubbing his pecs, “about their innocent, virginal, teenage daughter sharing her dorm with a boy.”
His chastity belt throbbed and jerked as his totally naked classmate washed his body, standing just inches away.
“They were SO sure that sharing a shower at the end of the hall with a real, living boy for the first time would have me so HOT and BOTHERED that I'd just throw off my panties and let you do WHATEVER you wanted to me," she laughed.  "That you'd leave me just another sex-starved, pregnant high school dropout.”
Every now and then her bare knee would brush his, sending electric shivers up his spine.
“Little did they know I'd been fucking all the boys I could find since I first got my tits,” she giggled. “That I was the sex-starved high school slut and that YOU would be the innocent little virgin who'd never even kissed a girl! Or that Mrs. Steiner would slap you in a purity belt before I even got a chance to give you a welcome blowjob!”
“Carmen!”
His trapped cock was now in a constant state of attempted erection, bent painfully into the curve of the steel tube, the ring behind his balls pulling them forward without mercy.
His hands shook and trembled at his sides.
Carmen added more body wash to her sponge, then ran it over the boy's flat, trembling abs. 
“How long has it been?” she giggled, watching his cage throb. “A week? Two?”
“THREE!” he wailed, almost in tears. “It's been THREE WEEKS since I've cum!”
“Awww, that's right, I remember Mrs. Steiner docked you last week for failing that English test,” Carmen giggled, running the soapy sponge over his hip bones, his thighs, right near his crotch, laughing as his hips would buck when she pulled away and didn't touch his cage at the last second. “You really should study more.”
“I can't!” he said, shivering. “I'm too damn... horny all the time!”
“Awwwww,” he heard her laugh, from somewhere below him. “Do you want your welcome blowjob now? Would that make things better?”
His eyes flew open.
“NO! Carmen! No! AHHHH-”
But the saucy girl was already on her knees, sucking and licking on his cage with abandon.
He grabbed her thin shoulders and pushed her away.
“Hands. OFF,” the girl snapped, looking up at him. “Or I'm telling Mrs. Steiner you touched one of us without permission!”
He released her shoulders instantly, shaking like a leaf as she laughed and pulled him closer by his hips.
“Boys don't turn down blowjobs from extremely fuckable Catholic girls,” she laughed, licking her pink lips just inches from the tip of his caged, dripping cock. “Didn't you learn anything in school?”
He was trembling, begging her.
“Carmen, please! I can't take this today! I'll do anything you want, just DON'T!”
“All I want,” she laughed, tucking her wet hair behind her ears, “Is to hear you scream my name.”
And then she took his whole caged length inside her.
Her other manicured hand held him by the ass, so he couldn't back away. Her mouth was a hot vacuum, her tongue a wet whip, sliding all over his cock, forcing its way through his widely spaced bars to occasionally touch his skin.
And all he could do was stand there and take it.
“Carmen...” he panted, starting to squirm. “It hurts!”
That only made her suck harder and rub his balls.  
His cock surged, trying to get harder but already at the full extent of his unyielding metal cage.
Carmen!”
The nude Latina girl bobbed her head up and down his whole length. “Come in my mouth baby,” she laughed after licking the tip. “Don't make me beg for it! I'll let you pump your cum down my hot throat every day if you want to baby.”
He was crying now, his face red, tears streaming down his cheeks as he shook with frustration.
“CARMEN!”
She gave his shaft and balls a few more loving licks and then finally stood up laughing. “You're the best shower buddy. You're so much more fun to tease than Heather!”
He was using the sides of the shower for support, so he wouldn't collapse. Carmen washed out the sponge then shoved it into his trembling hand. “My turn. Start with my back?”
Shaking, half bent over in pain, Neil shook his head. “Give me a second-”
“Come on!” she laughed, looking over her shoulder at him and stamping her slim foot on the tile. “I don't want to be late for English!”
Neil gulped, and with his cock still painfully hard, started washing his classmate's smooth, sleek, back.
“The other girls are thinking of getting some, you know.”
He was washing her very slowly, very carefully. He forced himself not to look down at her tight, tanned, teenage ass just inches from his crotch or to accidentally brush the sides of her breasts while washing her ribs.
“Getting what?” he demanded, trying to think of anything else besides what he was doing.
“Chastity belts. For their boyfriends,” Carmen giggled. The sponge was at her lower back now, grazing that sexy little dimple right above her perfect butt. “Since it's worked out so well with you. You couldn't get that thing off if you pulled on it with all your strength could you?”
He blushed harder, starting to scrub a little lower.
“Ohhh! That tickles!” she laughed, as Neil washed her ass, his belt a vice. She took a deep breath, let it out, and pushed her shining butt harder out against his sponge. Neil's hand was rubbing up and down her firm muscles, in between her cheeks a little, in between her legs...
“This is so relaxing,” she giggled, leaning a little forward against the wall, spreading her legs a little more. “Whenever I shower with my boyfriend, he's always trying to get me to give him a hand job or a blow job right away, or trying to get his fingers up my pussy or ass.”
Neil gulped but didn't stop washing her legs.
She looked over her shoulder, down at the boy on his knees washing the backs of her legs while studiously trying to avoid looking at the glutes right in his face.
“But with your little dick locked away, I don't have to worry about any of that,” she giggled as he blushed even more. “But I can tell you still want me, it's ALL over your face, but I don't have to worry about pleasing you at all. I can't! And you're STILL a lot of fun to tease!”
His face was beet red and his cock cage stretched to its limit as he stood up.
“Turn?” he asked. “For the front?”
“Sure,” she giggled. And as she turned, she snatched the sponge out his hand and threw it, practically out into the hallway.
“Hey! What did you do that for!”
She draped herself dramatically against the tile wall.
“Wash my front, Neil,” she giggled. “Without the sponge.”
His small teenage cock was as hard as it could get in his tight curved cage, almost pulling his balls off his body.
He pulled on it with both hands, trying to get even a millimeter more space to relieve the pain. “Carmen, please! I can't!”
“Wash. My. Front,” she said, still looking him right in the eyes. “Or I'm telling Mrs. Steiner you're a bad shower buddy who didn't complete his job. And then, she might dock you two or three weeks of orgasms...” The girl chewed on her lower lip. “Oh god, can you imagine?! Not being able to even touch your little dick again until... Christmas Break?”
“NO! Carmen! PLEASE!”
Carmen giggled and wiped her wet hair from her face, arching her back out at him more obviously even as she stood, shoulders pressed against the tile. “Start with my chest.”
“Oh god...” Neil was nearly hyperventilating as he applied a huge dollop of sticky shower gel to his bare hands, his cage almost vibrating with need.
He staggered forward, his hands held out at chest level and paused, just before contact. Then, closing his eyes he cupped both of her small, perky tits at once.
“Mmmmmm, that feels nice,” she purred, closing her eyes as well, moving her breasts up and down against him more than he was against her. “Heather barely washes my tits when we're in here. She still thinks she's straight.”
Neil swallowed, trying to think of math.
“But Sydney...” the girl panted. “God, I've been late for English so many times when Sydney's my shower buddy!” she giggled, her eyes closed. “She'll wash my tits long and hard, just like I need. And get a soapy finger up my butt, her hot tongue between my legs-”
His entire crotch was a tight knot of pain!
Carmen!”
“Do you want to watch sometime?” she giggled, sliding his hands around her small but pert breasts. Her eyes were open. “Maybe this Saturday morning?”
He swallowed hard. “No!”
“You sure? You don't want a little three-way in the showers? You, me and Sydney?”
He could barely breathe. Her nipples were so hard! He didn't want to, but his thumbs kept finding the hard bumps on her chest and rubbing over them, gently at first, then harder, harder...
“I can't!” he begged, his cage sticking straight out from his crotch, as hard at it had been during his 'blowjob'. “The cage!”
“I know,” the nude girl giggled, making him rub her slick soapy tits harder. “That's the only way you get to see Sydney and I together, if the cage stays on. That's the only reason you get ANY of this, because your male parts are trapped and locked away."  She panted.  "Oh fuck it would be so much fun, Neil!   I'll let you watch Sydney suck my tits, suck hers, put your fingers where ever you want...”
Picturing his tanned Latina roommate and the blond, athletic, Sydney together, their wet, naked bodies twisting around each other, their mouths mashed together, their fingers going in every slippery hole with him there to help-
He burst into tears again.
“CARMEN!” he wailed, pulling at his cage. His balls were blue, the ring of his steel chastity belt strangling them. “I can't take THIS!”
“Oh fuck, you're so much fun when you're like this.” She pushed his soapy hands towards her ass, towards her crotch. “Touch me Neil, just like last time!”
Neil doubled over in pain even as Carmen forced his fingers inside her pussy, inside her ass. She was slippery, warm and welcoming from both sides.
“OH GOD!” she gasped, panting in his ear, grabbing at his back with one hand. With her other, she forced his hands to fuck her with one finger, then two. “Faster,” she begged. “Faster.”
Crying, biting her shoulder, Neil complied.
“Faster in the ass,” she said. “Do it the same speed from both sides- like you had two huge cocks going in me-”
Her nude, young body slippery with soap, Carmen pressed against him, raising up on her toes as he thrust in and out of both her holes, her voice getting higher and higher.
“Yes yes YES YES- OH FUCK NEIL FUUUUCK!”
She came, shivering and yelling, one hand scratching and clawing at his back, one hand gripping his cock, balls and chastity cage all at once. She squeezed his balls as she climaxed, cumming long and hard and thoroughly, making the crying boy yell out as well.
Shaking and shivering, her body sliding everywhere against his, Carmen slowly came down, her breathing slowing, then looked down at her right hand and laughed.
“You came,” she giggled, playing with the few sticky white drops splashed across her fingers.
“I didn't think you could.”
He could barely talk. The feeling of his fingers, still deep in her two hot holes, holes he would never, ever get to explore with his dick while he was at school, was maddening!  “No! It was... it didn't feel like... cumming... at all!”
She held the evidence in front of his face. “Then what's this then?”
“That's barely... half of what normally comes out!” he said, blushing. “And it didn't feel... if anything, I'm hornier than before!” he moaned, rubbing all over her ass, her legs, her tits, as if trying to devour her with his hands.
Carmen was playing with the string of cum between her fingers, not letting the shower wash it off.  Her grin was a mile wide.
“If I tell Mrs. Steiner... that you spurted all over me in her showers... without permission from anyone...”
He gripped her in a panic. “NO!”
“Saturday,” she giggled, guiding his hands back to her soapy breasts. “Three-way. You. Me. Sydney.”
“Oh god!”
She pushed away, gathering her shower things. “And you have to let her finger your ass.”
“Oh fuck! CARMEN! No! NO!”
But the girl just laughed, grabbing his throbbing caged cock while giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek.
“Best shower buddy ever! See you in class!”
And she skipped off, not even covering herself with a towel as she walked past the shaking boy.
Because, why bother?

***