Writing Better Femdom Fiction- 6

Lesson 6: The shorter the story, the more you must Stay On Target.

We've talked about omni-fuck scenes before, and how they are a ruinous plague on the face of erotic writing. (If I get tired reading a sex scene because of all the positions and techniques the lovers are trying, what could it feel like to actually do all that stuff? Characters shouldn't need Gatorade at the end of every sex scene.)

But omni-fuck stories are even worse. If you have to put ten tags on your story to classify it, you're doing something wrong. There are no good 3000-word “CFNM/feet/anal/denial/sissy/facesitting/cuckold/tickling/chastity/spanking/CBT” stories. What is ten times hotter than that, what will make your readers love you ten times more, would be a 3000 word “CFNM/feet” story.

And if you really wanted to become a legend, try a 2000 word “feet” story. Or a 2000 word “cuckold” story.

Because the theme of your femdom story gets stronger the fewer themes you have.

Theme? Is this some Graduate level English lit class? I thought we were writing stroke stories here!

Yeah, theme. It's not just for James Joyce anymore. The thing that makes your story stick out from the pack is its theme.

“Boy wants blowjob from his sexy female cousin, she wants him to lick her feet, she cockteases him in a test of wills until he gives in” is a strong theme. That story will hit readers with concentrated erotic power, if you stay focused.

“Sexy female cousin cockteases boy, makes him lick her feet in test of wills, strips him, keeps him from masturbating for two weeks, then boy's mother gets involved and makes him take an enema, and then his aunt takes over and dresses him as her sissy maid” is a ri-donk-ulous theme. (But I've read too many stories like that.) That theme might work for a 100,000 word novel, but even then, it's too diffuse to have erotic power. It would be better as a 30,000 word novella about just the battle of wills between the cousins.

I like to think of theme as a blade that I'm sharpening with my scenes. Each scene in the story, each pass of the whetstone, should bring the central battle of the story into sharper focus. The sexy female cousin is staying over all summer; she wants his big bedroom, hosting boy gives her the smallest bedroom in the house, to prove he's in charge. Schhhhing- the whetstone makes its first pass. The battle of wills takes a little shape.

She dresses to tease around the house, he tells her to stop it, she says “Why? Getting sore jacking off thinking about me?” Schhhhing. The battle of wills becomes clearer.

You can just imagine that whetstone passing back and forth over the base metal as each tug of war between them raises the stakes in the battle of wills. But you only have so many passes, so many scenes you can write during your unpaid, thankless, third or fourth job as a femdom writer. If you spend a pass or two on his aunt dressing him like a sissy, yes, you've added a second, duller blade to your story, but wouldn't it be better to sharpen your first one a little more? That's what will plunge your story into the hearts of your readers and make it stick. That analogy just got weird.

Consider this week's chapter of “The Cocksitter's Club”. There are SO many things I could have Lori do to Robert, now that he's made the first few decisions to travel down her path. Start a training program to make him take bigger and bigger dildos up the ass. Make him start buying her more and more expensive jewelry. Make him take longer and longer spankings.

But all of those escalations pull my whetstone away from the central theme I want: “In a world of mandatory male chastity belts, a young teen shows a successful middle-aged man where the true power lies.”

It's about power exchange, not the specific sex acts, and so the fewer sex acts they are battling over, the higher resolution and more nuanced the escalation can be.

Ten stops on a slow decline into a single station, seeing her as his superior, are much more powerful than one stop in each of ten different tagged areas like “feet” or “spanking”.

There is so much more you can do if you limit your story to just one theme like “he wants her to swallow his cum, she wants him to swallow it” than if you go the path usually traveled and have a domme do everything under the sun to her sub to show her power.

And the thing that makes this lesson a lasting principle instead of a “no duh, Sherlock” is the consideration of length.

A real book is 80,000-100,000 words. You can have a couple of themes going on in there.

A novella is 30,000-50,000 words. Better pick one major theme.

A short story of 3,000-10,000 words, hooo baby, you better find one ultra-focused theme and sharpen until it's glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife!

(The opposite happened in my book, Gods at Eighteen #3: Summer Break. 100,000 words long and I let the theme get away from me, as different ideas seemed hot and grabbed me. No connection to the slow “they have to swallow to get their release!” tension I set up in the first scenes. Just random teasing scenes with no central theme. I still regret it and I still think it would have been a much better book if I had kept it under 30,000 words and it was just about their cum-swallowing battle of wills with their Aunt the whole time. Learn from my mistakes!)

(This story is out of control.  And not in a good way.)

Alright students, a freeform assignment for today: take one of your existing stories you've written and list some of the sexual tags in it. Then take out half those tags and reimagine your story as a tighter, more focused package, and tell us about it in the comments. You can give a brief description of the original story, then the improved version, and what that would improve about it. If you're a new writer and don't have a story handy, use this one from Literotica, it's all over the place.

Hope this helps,

P. F. Dee